the city. i've never been. i have driven through just once or twice on the way home. but i hate new york. the bridges are not marvelous. they are yearning to collapse. the buildings do not inspire. material immaterial. cars crash into people. birds shit like infants. it is a massive stomach ache of a city. it is heart burn and migraine and vertigo. a panic attack dissociating. it is exposed wire that shocks the pink of your gums. bleeding into a mouthful of cotton. in new york you do not belong. nobody has belonged there for centuries, especially you. if you live there, you are a haunting phenomenon. new york is fucking terrified of you. and plus, the city is full. napkins and receipt tape behind doors that don't open or close. people are suffocating each other. there is literally nowhere to go. the machines have become more powerful than the operators. people have started running into cars. the names of streets do not matter. you could be anywhere in new york and you are somewhere. there's always somewhere new in between the glass. i will never go to new york. i am way too smart. i will cut my own fingers off and grow mold in the wet crease of my lower lip.